The Walking Dead, Cell Phones, and Resiliency

The Walking Dead has started the season off with the theme of resiliency. IGN stated it nicely, ““Can we come back from the things we’ve done?” Can we recover from the mistakes we’ve made or are we doomed to ever be haunted by them, endlessly paying the piper? Well, we certainly cannot come back from our missteps until we stop repeating them.

In this zombie apocalyptic setting, the survivors are now considering whether they have lost their humanity. As a writer, a homesteader, a teacher and a mother, I wonder about these same concepts. Is there a point after which a person is changed forever? What happens to people when they face challenges, stresses, trauma? As a writer, I love imagining hero/heroine stories and writing about how a character can and will overcome. As a homesteader, there are always things that go wrong, but if you are going to grow your own food and preserve it, then you have to be committed and that requires a certain level of just gutting it out, trying again, working through and never giving up. As a teacher, student failure was the biggest crisis I faced. Too often, their culture worked against them so even when they had an innate sense of self-determination and an incredible strength of spirit, their life circumstances kept hitting them until it was no surprise when some began to drop out of school, if not physically then emotionally. As a mother I worried how to teach my children that regardless of what life handed them to never give up, to never surrender, and now as a grandmother, I face the same concerns, but in a world full of far more challenges than I could have ever imagined.

Given the reality of the environment, the economy, our leadership, and our culture, it is no big surprise that talking about and teaching resiliency is so fashionable. An internet search on resiliency pulls up everything from students to children to adults to business to websites to communities and more, including dogs and cats. From my perspective, the focus on resiliency is good news for everyone, unless you are watching the cat insisting on staying in the dryer, which actually isn’t an example of being resilient, but of being a cat. In every other instance, the more we teach resiliency, the more we learn to be resilient, the more we build our businesses and develop our communities so they are resilient, the better off we all will be.

So what is resilience? In a nutshell, it’s a person’a ability to handle stress and adversity, it is coping in such a way that the person comes back to a normal way of functioning, and it is growing so the person may actually function better after that adversity. It is a process and not a personality trait. Resilience can be fostered by families, schools, communities, and social policies, all of which are considered “protective factors” that help a person handle exposure to risk.  

If you’re having trouble conceptualizing what resiliency looks like, watch Louis C.K. explain why he doesn’t give his children a cell phone. It’s a lesson in resiliency,  which came to me via In the moment. It’s all about going against the culture, thinking for yourself, facing reality, learning empathy, being yourself, and feeling all your feelings, which is pretty much all a zombie is not. So I guess if we didn’t have cell phones, we could cancel the apocalypse. The bigger issue is whether we would be able to come back from being that connected all the time. Living in the present would be pretty radical, but it would be resilient.

Prepping for a Government Shutdown

Everyone has a wake up call. Mine came years ago as a federal worker who was shut out for 21 days during the last Congressional brou ha ha. My husband and I both worked for the same federal agency and loved it. I worked in IT and at that time we were implementing new technologies. I was fortunate enough to be a software trainer in a workforce of older learners faced with certain change. It was a rare situation in which I was able to combine my love of technology, my passion to learn new things, and my joy of teaching. It was challenging as my co-workers weren’t so sure about these changes, but with a lot of compassion, nurturing, and effort to understand how they felt, we all grew to love our new computers. So when we were shut down, everyone was shocked. When it looked like we weren’t going to get paid for a month or ever, my husband and I were panicked. It was unprecedented and completely unexpected. 

When we did return and were paid, my husband and I faced a new reality. 

We realized that it didn’t matter whether you did your job or not. If a Congressman was in a snit, you could be without a job, a salary, and benefits like medical insurance without a moment’s notice. Rather than go back to work and ease into a sense of complacency, we came up with a plan. We both got advanced degrees. My husband took assignments that meant he was away from home for about two years to further his career. We started stocking up on things like toothpaste, shampoo, and food. I started gardening after a 5-year hiatus. Climate change, global warming, and economic meltdown were never part of our conversation or our planning. We were doing things more like our grandparents did when they explained how they survived during the Depression. 

It wasn’t until we both began to experience health problems and connected it to our home environment that we started researching, identifying and concluding that we needed to be more aggressive in being prepared. I admit that we weren’t very strategic, and truthfully, all our plans were based on the assumption that life would continue in a fairly orderly way until we were old, really old, like ancient-- 80-90 years old. 

Since I love all things gardening and homesteading, our focus was along that line, which fit for the problem we faced-- climate change and pollution. Recent information about the climate has forced us to yet again assess. With this latest government shutdown, we are rethinking even the strategy we developed last month. It looks like the creating, recreating and implementing cycle of planning will be the focus of our lives and the theme of all my stories for awhile.

I’ve asked a good friend of mine who preps based on an impending economic collapse what she thinks the likelihood is of this being the moment in history that shakes us all awake. She isn’t willing to peer into her crystal ball and make that prediction; however, it is evident that the problems in Congress aren’t merely about affordable healthcare. This is a fight between ideologies in which both sides believe the state of the economy is a moral and ethical issue that must be addressed in a religious way. 

Once you use that worldview, then it becomes clear that the Republicans on the far right are merely adhering to the tenants of Milton Friedman, “Only a crisis - actual or perceived - produces real change. When that crisis occurs, the actions that are taken depend on the ideas that are lying around. That, I believe, is our basic function: to develop alternatives to existing policies, to keep them alive and available until the politically impossible becomes the politically inevitable.” I think shutting down the government and defaulting on our debt is pretty shocking and will absolutely precipitate a global financial crisis. I’m also pretty sure they have a plan for what to do when they create this crisis. Here are a few videos that provide a glimpse of a plan and what it would potentially look like when all is said and done.

Friedman on Libertarianism-- This is long, but worth watching for the overview.

Note that in regards to pollution, under the Bush administration, some corporations are exempt under the law for certain pollutants. It is also important to remember that the government is charged with prosecuting cases of environmental degradation, which is after the fact.  Once degradation occurs, it can be catastrophic regardless of how much money the offender has to ultimately pay, as in the case of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.  In regards to medical malpractice, tort laws have changed and there are now limits on how much anyone can get. Defense works if soldiers and police are protecting the citizens of the country as a public service and not as mercenaries. In a report published by the Combat Studies Institute Press, in 2005 Deborah Kidwell’s study found that using private contractors in the military created problems that “increase the risk to US personnel and can induce budget overruns rather than savings, disrupt civil-military relations, and have detrimental consequences for the American economy and society.” Download the report here.  Private police forces are required to protect the person or people who hired them, which is much different than protecting and serving the community as a public servant and can result in unexpected consequences. Finally, it should go without saying based on history that if you privatize a prison, you will end up with more prisoners housed in potentially substandard conditions for much longer sentences and for less reason.

The current debate over healthcare is the call to arms for ideologues who are fighting the free market war. Affordable healthcare administered through the government is akin to being immoral, according to them. Here’s Friedman speaking about curing American health care.  It is also important to understand his ideas on greed. 

Hong Kong is an example of what a free market would look like. Here he describes Hong Kong. The government of Hong Kong has had to step in to combat air pollution. Most recently, they passed a law that prevents someone from “forcing” tourists to shop during the holidays. Oddly enough, sales are down.

I believe that every person has the right to choose. That’s what freedom and democracy are about. Unfortunately, that isn’t what’s going on in Congress today. A small contingent of adherents to a totally free market are drawing a line in the sand and insisting the rest of the government and the people it represents do what they want. Bill Moyers says it succinctly.

As for me, I would prefer another path for the economy, one reflected in the following TED talk by Tim Jackson.  Obviously, the disciples of Friedman are not representing my views. The question then is whether other members of Congress and people who don’t ascribe to a completely free market approach to the economy will protest. With no assurance that they will or if they do, they will be successful given the fact that the military and police force are “private,” my reality has been placed in checkmate. We will continue to plan and prepare for the inevitable challenges of climate change, but with this new economic development, it will be with a sense of urgency and a calm resolve. 

Ten Reasons Robin Thicke Scares Me More Than Climate Change

After yet another headline about Robin Thicke, I realized my heart was racing and my stomach was tied in knots. I’ve never seen the man so I quickly eliminated that I was having an elderly woman’s attraction to someone young enough to be her son, which I believe has some feline term assigned to it now like panther or cheetah. I knew that wasn’t it. This was something else-- fear. I’ve only known about this man for maybe two-three months, but I have a deep sense of dread every time I happen across his name. It isn’t like when I first felt my brain click the whole climate change thing into focus. That was an “Oh crap!” moment and I knew I would never be the same so I committed to taking action right then with no looking back. Truthfully, if I don’t search for articles on climate change, I really don’t hear about it much. Not so with Robin Thicke. Lately, everywhere I go, everything I read coming from outside my house, and everything I hear that isn’t on Pandora has his name on it or in it. His name is a like plague I can’t escape. I find that frightening. Who is he, where did he come from, what has he done to make headlines bigger than climate change? My belief is if you’re scared of something, sit down and make a list. It might not be that bad once you see the reasons written out and if it is, then you’ll at least get a handle on what to do about it. So, here’s my list of why Robin Thicke scares me more than climate change:

1. I know who he is. I haven’t watched television in about a year and have only recently watched the noon news, which was about the same as it was the last time I watched it 12 months ago. I get news alerts from various news sources and I have an AP app for things that truly interest me and that I believe have any bearing on my life-- climate change, problems with crops, drought, air pollution, water pollution, GMO’s, children’s health, etc. I also check the weather every morning on my three phone apps, then use the average of the three to predict the temperature and likelihood of rain. Periodically, I get an AP news alert saying something like, “Kerry confirms chemical weapons use in Syria.” So the fact that I know anything at all about Robin Thicke means whatever he’s doing ranks right up there with global warming, global food insecurity, the weather, and threats to our national security. That’s scary. This is the son of Alan Thicke, probably the wimpiest Dad on television ever. How could his son be so important that I would know anything at all about him? I mean, I’m in the red when it comes to the news for goodness sake.

2. He’s old. This man is 36 years old and he’s singing songs about raping women on an awards show while a girl born the year he turned 16 does a bump and grind on his crotch. Let’s do a little age calculation. When she was one, he was 17. When she was 5, he was 21. When she was 10, he was 26. When she was 15, he was 31. Does this not sound like pedophilia to anyone other than me? Why isn’t this man in jail? As the grandmother of a soon-to-be 10 year old, my gut reaction is to cut off or at least prune certain extremities. It works with my hydrangea bushes. Mostly, it scares me that I am reacting this strongly to a man I don’t know doing things on television to a young woman I don’t know when I don’t watch television. Putting this in a climate change perspective, which is really what matters, I keep thinking about what happens when it’s excruciatingly hot and no one has many clothes on. Am I going to trust this man around anyone in my family? Am I going to trust anyone humming this little ditty as we work together in the office, walk together along the sidewalk, stand together in the park? Would I invite this man or anyone who knows or sings this song into my garden to pick tomatoes or on to my front porch to sit in the rocking chair? I think not. Well, not unless I keep the pruning shears close at hand. The cultural acceptance of his public pedophilia is also frightening.

3. He’s demented or he’s desperate. This is purely my judgment. I take full responsibility for this opinion, but this is someone who was abandoned by his babysitter when his parents were out of town and left to fend for himself at age 11. I’m thinking that did some emotional damage. Otherwise, how can you explain any of his songs? Granted, I haven’t listened to them, but I pulled a few lyrics off the internet just to see if they were anything like his most recent one and well, let’s just say his vocabulary is a tad limited. Of course he has a couple that he says are self-reflective and they show real promise of someone actually thinking about life and trying to rise above his mundane animal instincts, but then he obviously let that go and sunk back to where he is now. So what’s this got to do with climate change? Not much. I checked to see if maybe he’d written a song about climate change or global warming since he had that reflective phase and all. No, not really. He’s pretty clear about the things he’s interested in and it revolves almost exclusively around sex. He did write one about the sky, but it wasn’t about pollution. It was about looking up when you were unsure of whether you were ever going to be rich or not. I guess that works, too. At least if you’re looking up at the sky, you might notice that it isn’t really blue, but sort of a casual grey, kind of blurry. Hmmm....maybe there’s a connection here? Naw. I don’t think so.

4. He’s Alan Thicke’s son. This really doesn’t need much explanation. Alan Thicke played a stay-at-home psychiatrist on a television show. That’s pretty scary. Who would go to a psychiatrist who works from home and has kids coming in and out of his office all the time? You might go once, but you sure wouldn’t go again. As for the climate change connection, Alan Thicke actually did write an article in 2011 in the Huffington Post about how “Boomers” couldn’t explain climate change to the next generation. I would beg to differ with him on that. It isn’t that hard. Raising children to behave in a responsible way is hard, which he considers himself an expert. He wrote a book about parenting since he played a psychiatrist on television. I like to pretend I’m a concert pianist because I took lessons when I was little, but I don’t go around insisting on signing autographs for strangers on the street who obviously don’t recognize me behind my Jackie O sunglasses.

5. He wasn’t criticized after the Miley Cyrus incident. What’s up with that? She’s barely out of her tweens and he’s a man going through a mid-life crisis. They had to have rehearsed this song and her performance multiple times before the show aired so it wasn’t like he didn’t know what was going to happen. To me, this is blaming the incest survivor because her uncle/brother/father/grandfather tried to rape her and got caught. To me, she acts like someone who has been sexually assaulted in addition to sexually exploited. To me, this is a young woman who needs intervention and counseling before she ends up in jail like so many other Disney girls. The fact that no one said boo about him and all the angst was directed at her scares me. Have we returned to the pre-1970‘s when women had to fight to keep from being blamed for sexual assault? Oh, that’s right. Women are still being blamed for sexual assault, including young women on television in front of millions of viewers. So what’s the climate change connection here? Other than believing we are living in a cultural climate that needs some drastic changing and feeling my temperature rise every time I think of this man and the media storm that follows him around, I can’t think of anything truly relevant. But then, I don’t think he’s relevant and that doesn’t scare me.

6. He has naked girls dancing around him and they defend it. My mind boggles. Of course there were two other men in the video (and yes I tried to watch some of it and gave up), but no one seems to talk about them. Maybe it’s normal for that to happen to those men, but apparently not to Robin Thicke. I wouldn’t know and not that it really matters. I would argue that the women were not behaving in a way that indicates they believe their bodies are sacred. I guess if you’re a model, your body is just a piece of baggage that you haul around for display purposes like a rack for clothing. If I said that, I would be criticizing the women and that wouldn’t be compassionate or kind. So, I would rather argue that if a woman was behaving in a way that indicated that she had not been treated in an honorable way in the past, that she wasn’t special, that her body was not sacred or worthy of respect, then a man who is older, more experienced, more mature, more worldly would gently take her aside and explain those things to her. He wouldn’t joke or laugh about it. When women behave that way, I try to remind males that these are their wives, daughters, grand-daughters, grandmothers, mothers, aunties, and nieces. How much humor is in it then? Most respond with, “Eeeww!” If you still think it’s funny after envisioning your Aunt Lucy dancing nude around Robin Thicke, then I’m guessing you will end up on one of those weird daytime talk shows where everyone throws furniture. What’s scary to me is that so many people around the world watched these women behave in that way. It’s embarrassing. They can make excuses for their behavior and talk about it being about owning their sexuality all they want (yep, I have a certificate in Women’s Studies so I pretty much know this one). Their behavior degrades them and all women. Their behavior makes a mockery of the women who live covered from head to toe each and every day, who are caned in public because they were raped, who are thrown on to the funeral pyres of their husbands, who can’t go to school, who can’t drive, who can’t work, who can’t go out of their houses for fear of being stoned. They didn’t make a statement about owning anything. If there is a climate change/global warming connection, I would make it with those women in countries who are experiencing the worst problems resulting from it today, the women who struggle every day to feed their families despite a food shortage, the women who live in places where their lives are held in the palms of the men around them, the women in places where their survival depends on honor-- their own and that of the men who surround them. Now, that’s scary.

7. He sang a song about rape. Let me say that again. HE SANG A SONG ABOUT RAPE! Are you kidding me? A song. About rape. A song? Seriously? No one sees a problem with this? Really? A song about rape? Ok, well, let’s sing a song about neutering. That’s a blurred line, right? I mean he really wants it. He really does.  He’s an animal. It’s in his nature. He needs to be liberated. Neutering would definitely make him into a good boy. It worked with my dog. I know most men really want to be good. They just get nasty. There’s no blurriness here. I think it’s pretty clear. They want it. It might hurt, but it will work. That said, the only connection to global warming I can make with this is the intense anger I feel that there’s any confusion at all about the problem. There’s no confusion. This is clear. There’s no confusion about climate change. It’s clear. Civilized people don’t sing about rape. Informed people don’t deny there’s climate change. The fact that anyone did sing about rape or anyone denies climate change and anyone thinks either is ok is scary.

8. He is unapologetic. He is a 36 year old man singing about rape while letting a very young woman wiggle her bottom on his crotch in public after making a video with women dancing around him nude and he says what? Not much. Of course, he’s making a bundle off of this so what’s to say? “Golly, guys, I really wish I wasn’t such a big star now that everyone including old women who don’t watch television or listen to the radio know my name and have heard about my song. Durn. I wish I’d done something that would have made the world a better place in some way, but geez, I just never thought I’d make it big and well, now I have so it is kind of a moot point to ask me to be apologetic, right? I mean, wouldn’t everyone have done the same thing? So what if I’ve inadvertently influenced young men, old men, and boys around the world to think of violence against women as cute and not a big deal. It isn’t like I was talking about my mother or anything. She’s safe, right? It wouldn’t be cute if my wife was raped, but hey, if it makes a buck we’ll see if maybe she’ll let someone rape her for my next music video. As long as we make a lot of money and become famous, it won’t really matter. No apologies necessary. I’m sure she won’t mind. Hey, maybe we can get my grandmother in on it, too. Yeah, that’d be cool.” So the connection to climate change? Obviously the same as for the climate deniers who now admit that yes, well, there actually is global warming and well, things are pretty rough climate-wise and you know, in a few years, maybe our children will be able to figure this thing out. If not, then maybe our grandchildren will, if they survive those temperatures or storms. Right now, they’ve got to pull more oil/gas out of the ground to make a buck. To compensate their children for destroying the climate, they’ll buy their kids one of those cute Hummers that get about 18 mpg. No apologies necessary.

9. He influenced young people, middle aged people, old people to believe that rape ends in “y,” as in rapey. Rape is a 4-letter word. Period. Adding a “y” to the end of it, doesn’t make it better, easier to handle, or less violent. It would be like saying temperatures hot enough to buckle pavement this summer are climate changey. Or the polar ice caps melting at a much faster rate than predicted is global warmy. Death Valley hitting 124 degrees in June this year is hotty. Adding a “y” to something we should take seriously in order to make it okey-dokey is a scary thing to do.

10. I know all this about him without doing any internet research. Sure, I looked up the lyrics to his songs for this article and searched on what his Dad was doing out of curiosity, but I knew all the main points about him. I just checked for accuracy and the scary thing was, I was accurate without having done the research. All the research did was fill in some very small blanks. I picked up all this information from scanning headlines as I made my way to the articles I really cared about and from headlines on magazines along the grocery store check out lane. Since I’ve been off email, Twitter and Facebook for about three weeks, the fact that I know so much about him and Miley Cyrus scares me more than I can admit. If anything, that’s the strongest connection to climate change/global warming there is. I don’t need the media to tell me the weather is bonky. I go outside. I run 10 miles. I bike 17 miles. I garden. I walk the dog. I look at the plants. I see the difference in the number of pollinators. I see the difference in the number of birds since last year. I see the change in the color of the sky. I feel the change in the way the sun hits my skin. Just like you absorb the information of the culture if you live in this country, you will experience climate change if you live on this planet. You can’t block out the media. It saturates you. You can’t block out the problems resulting from global warming. They are here. Somehow we have to figure out how to deal with both of them.

I can only deal with  Robin Thicke by ignoring him. He isn’t relevant. He is a temporary tempest regardless of whether I believe his song will influence the way someone treats women or not. There really isn’t anything I can do about him or the culture so there’s always the chance that one day someone I love will pay the price for his little song. On the other hand, I won’t ignore climate change. It is relevant. It is a massive storm that is going to influence everyone’s life. However, there are things I can do about mitigating and adapting to climate change. I don’t feel frightened when I can focus my time, energy, and money on the things that are relevant and that I can actually do something about. The more I know about Robin Thicke, the more I see him as a reflection of the culture and none of my actions is likely to make a difference. The more I know about climate change, the more confident I am that I can take positive action and it will make a difference in the kind of future my grandchildren will have. So basically, the reason Robin Thicke scares me more than climate change is I can’t do anything about him, but I can do something about climate change. 

Fast Food and a Grandmother's Power in Making Pure Food Choices Pt. 3

Every time I turn around there’s yet another news story designed to frighten me into behaving in a certain way. I’ve gotten to the point where I tune out. There’s only so much fear any one person can handle and I’d say most of us are maxed out. So fast food is not usually something grandparents want to think about. Going to get a happy meal creates happy memories. The last thing I want to do is go around in a panic about every little morsel my grandchildren eat. I readily admit, I’ve given them fast food for quick meals when I’ve picked them up from school and we have the pleasant memories to prove it. As I’ve read more about fast food, the meals have become fewer and fewer and now they are non-existent. It took some planning on my part, but now I bring my own snacks to get them through until dinner when they come to spend the night. For me, it really came down to the cost. Sure, it costs me a little bit of time, but as I found out it was costing them their health. Fast food, I discovered, comes with some hidden costs-- obesity, other illnesses, medical costs, and even climate change.

When I was eating fast food (and yes, even I ate fast food at one time and for a long time actually), I tried to make what I thought was a good choice-- something with chicken. It wasn’t until I started gaining weight that I decided to check into just what I was eating. Oh boy was that a mistake. Of course I had been feeding the same thing to my grandchildren. By that time, they weren’t going to give it up just because I was gaining weight. They were still too young for it to make much difference and honestly, they weren’t eating fast food more than once a week and not even that much most of the time. Then I started seeing some more news articles and I began to wonder whether I wasn’t actually behaving in a risky way when it came to their health. At this time, climate change never entered my head as being connected to fast food. 

The truth is, I slowed then stopped feeding my grandchildren fast food because of the costs to them. First and foremost, it costs them their health. The second thing I realized was the risk of a future cost to the family overall. Evidence now shows that fast food is related to obesity, which is related to diabetes. If one of my grandchildren develops diabetes because of his/her diet the entire family will have to adjust and pay for it in time, attention, and medical costs. From what I learned, feeding my grandchildren even one meal a week was not a good idea.

There is increasing evidence that the rise in obesity and diabetes is a national epidemic. For example, The American Academy of Pediatrics has published guidelines for managing type 2 diabetes mellitus in children and adolescents. That’s never happened before. The CDC estimates that there are 151,000 children/adolescents with diabetes in the United States . Although the majority of those are type 1, an increasing number have type 2 diabetes, which is strongly correlated with obesity.  The most alarming thing about these studies is that type 2 in children progresses faster than in adults and the complications are seen earlier: heart disease and kidney damage being two significant problems. Once I saw those numbers, I was frantic to figure out what I could do. Obviously, there are more answers to that than there are hours in the day, but the simplest thing was to just stop feeding them any fast food. As I learned, a child who eats one fast food meal per week will gain about a pound a year.  That doesn’t seem like much except that pound comes from unhealthy ingredients  and kids who eat fast food tend to eat more food all day  and sometimes they were eating more than one fast food meal per week, which I discovered is pretty typical for children in this country. As if being overweight isn’t enough of a problem, obesity is connected to developing diabetes in adults and in children. Since diabetes runs in my family, I felt like I had to make the ultimate sacrifice-- no more fast food meals. Period.

I knew from childhood friends and from my adult relatives that once you have diabetes, life changes dramatically. Diabetes is a disease that must be managed. A person’s very life is at stake. They have to monitor their blood glucose levels daily and sometimes multiple times a day. Diet becomes a huge factor in their lives.  In some cases, they have to take insulin shot. Illnesses and even bumps and bruises take on more significance.  I knew I didn’t want this for my grandchildren. And it isn’t just the physical side, but just about every aspect of their lives is affected. From choosing a babysitter, informing the school, being away from home, going to camp, and even dating and driving, all are things that have to be considered within the framework of diabetes.  In fact, The American Diabetes Association(r) has information targeted specifically to parents of children with diabetes.  

The immediate problems are pretty frightening, but when I looked into the long-term problems, I couldn’t see putting them at risk. Even thought they are children, as a diabetic they could develop blindness, kidney disease, nerve damage, heart and blood vessel diseases, and foot problems from poor blood flow and nerve damage http://kidshealth.org/teen/diabetes_center/basics/complications.html#  It wasn’t easy telling them no when they asked to go to their favorite fast food chain, but after looking at the risks and how easy it would be to prevent them ever becoming obese or getting diabetes from what I was feeding them, it was a no brainer.   I just couldn’t see saddling them for the rest of their lives with this devastating disease.  

I also couldn’t see adding this kind of financial cost to my daughter. Although she would be the one to pay the medical costs for her children, the truth is we all end up sharing by having to pay high premiums and more for our personal medical care. According to Santa Clara University, obesity now costs over $27 billion per year to the healthcare system. Rutgers’ website has wonderful information on the costs of health and poor choices , including the relationships between poor health and wealth. Basically, making poor choices are expensive immediately in terms of the costs of the food. Regardless of what anyone might say, fast food meals cost more than a home-cooked meal. Poor food choices are also expensive throughout one’s lifetime through incurred medical costs. Medical costs result in stress and/or delayed or inadequate treatment, which results in further financial costs. People in poor health die at a younger age and spend more on prescription drugs and healthcare than their peers. So in addition to a person’s health being disadvantaged, his wealth is put at risk. That combination is a sure-fire way to experience stress and all the problems related to it.

I can’t think of anything more stressful than having a sick child. All mothers are anxious when their children are ill, but a diabetic child has to be monitored even more closely.  The blood glucose level could become unstable not just from the illness, but any medications. Then there’s the additional anxiety from the possible loss of income or the loss of a promotion or even the loss of your job from taking too much time off. The more I read, the more frightened I became not only for my children, but for their entire family and for their future. As I said before, I am maxed out on fear. It has been difficult to say no, but I figure it’s easier to say no and have them lose out on a chicken nugget than it is to say yes and have them lose out on their childhood .

Obviously, everyone has to make his/her own decisions and weigh the cost for him/herself. After watching relatives battle diabetes and seeing what childhood friends had to do even thought I know that today diabetics have a much easier time monitoring their blood glucose and managing the disease, I decided that NOT feeding my grandchildren fast food was the best choice for us. I didn’t even consider climate change in the decision. It is something to think about though. Again, not to become frightened of the future or guilty because of what you ate for lunch, but to have a better understanding of how individually and globally what we do matters, including what we eat. 

Fast Food and a Grandmother's Power to Make Pure Food Choices, Pt. 2

When it comes to being a stronger influence on my grandchildren than fast food dispensers, time is not on my side. I’m not with my grandchildren every day. If I had access to the same amount of time with them, I still wouldn’t have the kind of money they have. According to Yale, fast food/junk food providers spent about $4.2 billion (yep with a b) in 2009 in advertising and marketing, and American children saw 25,000 to 40,000 commercials per year.  Let’s break that down-- for fast food, the average preschooler saw about 3 ads per day, children between the ages of 6-11 saw 3 1/2 ads per day, and your typical teen between the ages of 12-17 saw almost 5 ads per day in 2009. I can’t compete with that, and something tells me hugs and kisses and even bedtime stories aren’t going to be enough to overcome that level of exposure.  And those numbers don’t include secondary contact like billboards, friends, and product placement in television shows and movies. If those numbers don’t scare you, go to  http://www.fastfoodmarketing.org and you’ll find even more reasons to keep your grandchildren away from all television, friends, movies, or contact with the outside world. Eventually they have to go to school or at the very least go to work so we might as well get used to having fast food/junk food ads thrown at them at every turn. Right? I thought so. The correct answer to that would be No! Even Hell no!

This level and intensity of exposure more than concerns me. I am a fierce protectress of my grandchildren. I only thought I was a lioness when it came to my children. I am positively irrational when it comes to my grandchildren. The odds of them becoming obese and/or developing diabetes is pretty strong. In terms of genetics, our family already has that ticket punched. Obesity and diabetes run on almost every branch of our family tree. There is evidence that fast food marketing is a “probable” cause of obesity. Yes, I know the marketing itself isn’t the cause, but eating fast food is the cause of obesity; however, kids age 3-5 who are exposed to fast food branding (packaging, colors, marketing, etc.) prefer that food even when it doesn’t come from that restaurant. If I bought their wrappers and put my food in it, my grandkids would prefer it. This tells me the branding is pretty darn good. It also tells me that whatever is in the package is going to be eaten and what “they” put in the package is not necessarily healthy food. I've seen some that I wasn't sure if it was real food.

So as a grandmother trying to create home cooked meals that the grandkids remember fondly and as an eco-omi trying to influence their tastebuds to prefer organic, whole, and natural foods, I’m up against billions of dollars and thousands of hours of advertising and slick packaging. If that wasn’t bad enough, the toys and the playscape are another draw for kids to go to fast food restaurants. In fact, now they don’t even have to go into a restaurant to be exposed to food as a “play” theme. There’s going to be a monopoly game  that includes all the brands of all the products a child needs in order to be happy. Monopoly! I love Monopoly. So much for non-descript little green houses and red hotels. But that isn’t all. We can’t forget the “give-aways,” like the one sponsored by McDonald’s on July 27th in Phoenix where the first 100 children to come to that restaurant received a backpack as part of a 28,000 backpack giveaway statewide. Now, how am I going to compete with that? I remember loving everything my grandmothers cooked, but they weren’t competing with flavor enhancers, fast food advertising, free toys, play-scapes, and backpacks.

Connecting play and food is huge with fast food/junk food. Playing and food was a concept my mother strictly forbade and would have made both grandmothers faint in disgust. Well, maybe not faint, but we would have gotten frowns and that was a pretty serious indictment from them. As if toys, games, and play-scapes aren’t enough, there are also websites specifically for kids to go and “play.” I like the McBudget best. This isn’t actually a kid website, but it does feature teenagers/young adults. McDonald’s partnered with Visa to help McDonald’s employees (supposedly teenagers and young adults, but actually they’re closer to 30 understand how to live on the salary they pay them. It’s a pretend budget, but then so is thinking that eating fast food is a best choice for anyone’s at any income. I hear cost used as the reason people eat fast food all the time and it’s obviously pretty common as it was written up in the New York Post and we all know how trendy they are. 

Truthfully, I’ve never found eating at fast food restaurants to be cheaper and studies confirm that fast food is not just less healthy, but more expensive than foods you prepare yourself when you shop with a meal plan. I guess it’s the meal plan that adds the perceived cost to the non-fast food since you do have to sit down and think about what you’re going to eat and then horrors-- make a meal plan, which can take almost an hour if you do it for the month. But hey, let’s say fast food is cheaper and it isn’t, but we can pretend for one minute. The meal itself may cost less, but the health costs far outweigh the couple of dollars a person might save.  A family spends around $13,000 per year on healthcare resulting from diabetes. That doesn’t sound like a savings to me. It sounds like deferred costs with pawn shop interests rates-- heart disease, obesity, diabetes. It also sounds like taking the money away from the entire family and devoting it to the child or adult who gets ill.

It may sound like I’m getting all excited about nothing, except it isn’t “nothing” to me. There is increasing evidence of the rise of obesity and diabetes in this country, even for children. This is serious stuff not just for me as a grandmother of two of the most precious children ever born, but as an organic gardner and climate change activist. It really is all related, but understanding how is for next week. 

Fast Food and a Grandmother's Power in Making Pure Food Choices

The grandkids are back in Maine and the house is too quiet. Their noise rocks the roof and keeps the dogs running up and down the stairs in pursuit and I love it. They are pure energetic joy. They hardly slow down to eat so I keep a tray of fruit and veggies and (thank you Hidden Valley and Ingle’s) organic ranch dressing for them to grab. I was beyond thrilled that they took to the meals seated at the dining table and even ate more of my “odd” food than I would ever have imagined. Thom has said more than once that dinners have been great lately. I keep telling him that these are the same recipes I’ve been using. The difference is the attitude with which I am creating them. His comments and the grandkids’ willingness to eat them have convinced me after only a month to continue my commitment to cook in a mindful way. 

Mindful cooking can’t overcome everything though. I now have confirmation that it is not just my imagination that fast food changes their tastebuds. An article came through my email the other day and all I could say was, “Ha! I knew it!” Of course, no one was around to listen, but it’s the feeling of being right that counts. Not like I needed it, but I now have more evidence that fast food/junk food is harmful to kids. Studies show and nutritionists warn that fast food/junk food is developed so the brain will release the chemicals and neurotransmitters (i.e. dopamine) that are responsible for pleasure and excitement and they are “addictive.” The taste of fast food/junk food trains children’s palates so healthy foods are comparatively bland. This explains why my grandchildren would turn up their noses at some of the things I made them. To add insult to my injured ego, fast food/junk food damages their bodies as soon as they eat it. We can’t ignore this or even downplay the significance as parents and grandparents. One in every three children will develop diabetes and 30 million children are obese. The CDC estimates that 1/3 of our children and adolescents are obese today. 1/3!!

I just ordered Silent Scandal to add to my reference library and so I would have something to pull out from time to time and wave in relatives’s faces who don’t always agree with my opinions about food choices. I have to say, there are fewer and fewer who disagree with me. I’ve been at this a long time. I no longer yell or get uncontrollably excited, but my passion will take hold of me from time to time if I’m not careful. I battled the fast food/junk food pushers when my children were younger and I firmly believe the problem is worse today. Fast food/junk food is more “addictive,” so I find it even more difficult to make things my grandkids will eat. Their mother cooks almost every meal for them, but the culture is so strong and the ads are aimed squarely at them. Some days I feel like I’m throwing handfuls of carrot sticks and apple slices at a tsunami of french fries, soft drinks, and golden nuggets. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and I readily admit I’ve taken my grandchildren to Chick-Fil-A, especially on those emergency school pick up days when I didn’t have anything to bring with me to the car riders line. Being perfect isn’t the goal. Being reasonable and responsible is. 

In keeping with the changes I’m making to the Little Suzie Homesteader website, August will focus on fast food/junk food, the problems we face as grandparents (or parents) and what we can do to provide healthy choices and teach our grandchildren about eating well. As you’ll see, we are up against billions of dollars and millions of ads, but we have the honor of being role models and the guardians of their health so they always run through their lives with pure joyful energy. I firmly believe in the power of grandmothers and in the sacredness of eating pure foods. 

Atlanta’s Real Women: Stories of Hope and Inspiration

Well, it's official. The launch of Atlanta's Real Women: Stories of Hope and Inspiration is scheduled for August 3, 2013. Everyone is invited so come help us celebrate. There will be an open house that Saturday from 1-3 p.m. in the Monte Carlo room at the Inn at Chateau Elan in Braselton, GA, 30517. You can RSVP on Facebook:www.facebook.com/realwomenunlimited . The book can be ordered at: www.atlantasrealwomen.com  or you can get your copy at the open house. If you would like to learn more about each contributing writer, we're on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/atlrealwomen.

The original idea for the book came about when my friend, Linda Hughes, sat around her kitchen table last summer with a group of women talking about their lives, none of which remotely resembled the "wives" depicted on "reality" television shows. From that meeting, Linda and Christine Martinello called others, including me, to write a personal life story that might help and inspire women. Fourteen women responded and shared their stories about resiliency and triumph. 

When all of us met a few months ago, there were tears as we told each other our stories and there was a lot of laughter. We are a testament individually and collectively that no matter what might happen in a woman's life, she can get through it. She can not only survive, but thrive. We are evidence of that. 

Everyone is excited to be a part of the celebration, but more importantly to have been part of pulling our stories together into one book with the sole intent of sharing stories of overcoming. Linda and Christine have done yeoman's work in coordinating the women's voices so the chapters tell the individual stories and the larger one of hope and inspiration. They've worked with the publisher at every stage and created the wonderful websites and social media venues for the book. Their leadership has been instrumental in bringing the book into creation. I am thankful for their success in bringing this about and in becoming acquainted personally with such amazing women. Please come join us as we celebrate this event!

The Sacredness of the Sugar Fairy

I fought the sugar fairy all through the years my children were growing up. The bus driver was the worst. There were few days they didn't hit the door with a hard candy in their mouths. Finally, I gave up and decided that in moderation, we'd cope. The same is true for my grandchildren. I don't completely exclude sugar from their diets while they're with me like I did my children, who will be the first to cry "foul" and tell you how victimized they were. Still, it bears repeating and repeating and repeating. Sugar, especially in the quantities we eat it today, damages our bodies. It feels good going down and that little burst of energy makes the moment really zing, but then the inevitable crash occurs. This article makes the point better than I ever could and is a reminder that things never really change. We have to be informed advocates and activists for a pure food supply and selective in what we put into our bodies and the bodies of our children. For most people, sugar is sacred. I'm thinking they might need to find something more worthy of worship-- like water, fruit, vegetables. Just a thought. Sugar Love: a not so sweet story. 

Blueberries at Hard Labor Creek Blueberry Farm July 2013

Fantasy Dinners-- not exactly what you'd imagine

I’ve had so much fun with the sacred dinners and especially the chakra themed meals last week that I decided to do some fantasy dinners while Ellie and Ryan are with me this week. Today we’re going to do unicorns--kebabs, guacamole and chips, spiral cheese straws, salad, and spiral greek orange sugar cookies I bought from Whole Foods. Tomorrow will be fairies: curried carrot and apple soup, crudités cut very tiny, and little strawberry marzipan cookies. Wednesday is angel day and we’ll have fluffy sweet potatoes, salad, and raspberry jam heart cookies. Finally, Thursday will be the dragon’s dinner: wild rice salad, spinach with strawberries and poppyseed dressing, and little chocolate star drop cookies. You’ll have to imagine what they represent. Each day will have a themed table setting. I’ve only done the one for today since they’ll just be getting here around dinner. They can help me with the others and I’ll let them choose. We’ll leave a place at the table for the unicorn, fairies, angels, and dragons to join us. I’m hoping this will encourage them to not groan when I say to turn the television off and really begin to enjoy eating at the table. Watching television while I ate was a habit I developed as a child and passed it on to my children, then my grandchildren. It isn’t every meal, but enough. Still, you’re never too old to develop new habits and sitting at the table every night has been such a relaxed and sacred experience that I want to make sure Ellie & Ryan discover the joy of being together and being creative while eating dinner. It will be interesting to see how it goes. I’ll post pictures of the meals and the recipes as I do them. Thanks Denise & Meadow for your inspiration!

Update 9/9: When Ryan, age 6, found out the theme for Monday's dinner was going to be unicorns, he looked at me very seriously and said,"You and I are a lot alike." 
I said, "Yeah? How?" 
"We both believe in unicorns and knights and stuff like that." 
I nodded, "Yep, we do. Do you know someone who doesn't?" 
He frowned, "Just about everyone I know." 
"Well, it's their loss," I told him. 
"Yeah," he said and walked away.

Update 9/10: When you invite fairies to dinner, be prepared for some magical conversation. Ellie and Ryan are fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who ignite their imagination with stories and play so I know it is the culture that seems to be zapping them into the adult world too young, too soon, and too much. Add a little fairy dust to each plate BEFORE dinner (cake dusting powder sold at Michael's) and be prepared for some great discussion.

Update 9/11: If you have too many people who don't believe in angels to a dinner where you've invited angels, it doesn't have the same "feel" to it.

Update 9/12: Dragons make the most interesting guests. Ryan asked if I could "see" the dragons. Ellie watched me expectantly. I smiled, "No, I can't actually see them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there." Ryan looked straight at me, "You know most people are afraid of dragons. Are you?" Me: "Nope. I like dragons." Ryan: "Because they protect you, right?" Ellie: "Yes, Ryan. We've talked about this before. Right, Omi?" Me-- yaye. She's nine and still needs a healthy dose of real imagination. I love all things dragon. 

The Sacred Act of Eating Popcorn

In the last month, food has taken on a more significant meaning for me than I would have ever thought. My family already shushes me whenever food comes up as a topic and I can tell you that in my family, food is always a topic. We are consumers of food, which has become fraught with an inner conflict I had not expected. Twice in the last three months, I went to someone’s home and was served popcorn in an open “community” bowl, packaged candy in another bowl, and a stir-together mix in water drink-- not a sports drink, but close enough. 

The first time, I thought this odd food contribution was because my hostess was such a career-oriented person she didn’t have time or interest in food. She obviously eats, but there are people who consider food as calories and nothing more. The second time at yet another home and with another hostess, I decided there was an anti-foodie movement afoot similar to the real men don’t eat quiche in places with hanging fern baskets movement back in the 80‘s. I should point out that both of these women live in upscale neighborhoods and have more than enough money to buy from a caterer or even a deli if they chose or didn’t have the time to prepare something themselves. 

My inner conflict was in giving these experiences even a second thought, especially given the world food crises, GMO’s, and the host of other problems surrounding the safety of our food and water that are too numerous to tackle in one short essay. It’s just so petty, but I found myself mentioning it to strangers asking them, “What does this sound like to you?” They would shake their heads, mumble and walk away. I gave up on soliciting advice when I decided this behavior is indicative of why food problems continue to exist despite solutions, protests, and resources available to resolve them. It has to do with thoughtfulness.

I will admit that my thoughtfulness until very recently extended only to how the food was grown and processed. I’m vegetarian bordering on vegan; however, when the grandchildren are around, I have found that in order to save our relationship, I have to be more accommodating. I’m the black sheep in the family anyway so my incessant monologue about the virtues of organic, homegrown, and minimally processed food only adds to my isolation and if you have grandchildren, you understand how being a little more lenient in food choices becomes a priority compared to them not thinking you are one cool grandma. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve talked about the differences in the foods they eat elsewhere and the foods they eat here, but once those tastebuds have been addicted to corn syrup, it’s difficult to have them eat things that aren’t highly salted, sugared, and full of fat. I have to say my grandchildren prefer fruits and vegetables for the most part, but also expect it to be cooked in a southern way, which I no longer do. This poses a problem when they visit my home, and the relevancy of this extends to the sacredness of the food itself as I stood convicted of not being thoughtful in how I presented my food choices.

After the second visit where popcorn served in big bowl provided the “sustenance” for a group of networking business women, I decided I needed to figure out why I was so bothered. First, it was the idea that today we would all dip our hands into the same food source. I’ve seen people using plastic gloves to pick out fruit and vegetables at the grocery store. I think that’s why the popcorn bowl sat untouched. No one knew if anyone else had pinched one from the top of the heap or not. They might have eaten it if there had been toothpicks to spear each little kernel. Most people eat food being given away by strangers holding trays at the mall if they can grab it by a toothpick. Since there were no toothpicks for the popcorn, I sensed some squeamishness on the part of the other guests. As for me, I don’t eat public food so dipping my hand in a shared bowl of popcorn is no go. I mean, what were they thinking?

Second, there was an obvious lack of “something.” This was what wouldn’t let go. I was sure serving bowls of popcorn had some meaning. I just couldn’t figure out what. I was also sure there was a bigger issue going on. Then I happened to pull out The Mystic Cookbook. I’ve had it for a few months and thought July would be a wonderful time to cook with a difference as that’s when freshest foods become available. When Denise and Meadow wrote about hospitality, I knew that was the something I couldn’t identify in the popcorn bowls. They not only accurately described what I felt was missing from my experiences at these ladies’ homes, but what I had been missing in my experience from the food I grow and buy, prepare, and consume, and what was at the root of our food problems globally. Hospitality is an indication that you’ve actually thought about your guests and how to make them feel welcome. It hit me that a friendly face does not necessarily mean a welcoming heart. There was no hospitality.

I’m not just criticizing them. I have as much or more to change. Although working in the garden for me is a mystical experience, I was not bringing that into my cooking and I was downright barbaric when it came to bringing it to the table or should I say the couch where I ate most of the time while watching some high-action/violent television show or movie. After reading the first page, I started eating at the table. This was especially difficult for me given my husband is out of town and I’ve been dining alone for the last couple of weeks. I took the Linn’s advice and set the table as if I were a gracious hostess and I was the special guest. I also stopped rushing in my food preparation. Now, a few minutes before time to start dinner I sit down with a glass of wine, some cheese, and fresh bread. It only takes 15 minutes, but I go over all the wonderful things that have happened in my day and the miracle of the foods I’m eating. Then when I start preparing dinner, I’m in a much better frame of mind. I set the intention for that meal, prepare it, and serve it at the table. I’ve integrated some of their suggestions, such as eating for abundance and choosing a table cloth and candles especially for that mindset. This month (starting today and for the next seven days) I will also prepare chakra meals.

The small changes in developing this as a habit have had enormous rewards for me personally. I’ve found that I actually enjoy mealtimes much more even though I’m eating alone most of the time. I’ve discovered how grateful I am for all the people who work to bring food to the stores where I shop, who grow the seeds that I plant, to God for all the millions of things that happen in nature so my plants will grow at all. I’ve even added music to enhance the experience. As a bonus, I’m feeling much more relaxed, I sleep more soundly, and I’m unexpectedly happier. The entire meal preparation, eating, and clean up takes no more time than when I was rushing through, eating in front of the television, and rushing to clean up. The major difference is I no longer feel stressed and anxious. The new feelings have even flowed over into the rest of my day.

The sacredness of food has been the missing element in what I’ve been trying to express to my family when I talk about the difference between eating processed and organic, homegrown and store-bought. The difficulty has been in trying to describe something that I truly wasn’t doing. I was not treating the preparation and the consumption of the food as a sacred act, as a way to connect with and be grateful for my body, the thousands of others who have worked to bring the food to me and/or who are eating the same foods, and God’s abundance. 

Sacred mealtimes don’t resolve the world food crises, the problems with GMO’s, or the other challenges we currently face with our food supply. What it has done for me is provide the certainty that every person regardless of where he/she lives should have food security. Hospitality dictates that sitting down to eat should be respectful of others while providing for everyone’s needs and treating guests as equals in your home and at the table. It takes precious little thought to be a hospitable host regardless of whether you serve processed or organic food. Hospitality is an indication that the hostess actually considered her guests and that’s what was missing from my last two experiences. That’s what is missing in resolving the problems with the world’s food supply.

Acting on the sacredness of food takes hospitality to the next level. It means we do whatever is within our power to make sure all people have enough pure and nutritious food to eat every day. It also means we not only see, but fully understand and feel compelled to act when something or someone threatens to pollute the food source-- not just our own, but that of every other person. Treating food as sacred means we respect the food regardless of who will be eating it, that we provide for others as well as ourselves, and that we see that everyone has equal access. It makes for a mystical experience that not only will carry us through the day, but through life. I think this would be true even if we’re only eating popcorn.